Homeless in Seattle

There are a few constants in every big city:

Skyscrapers
Dark alleys
Strip clubs
Good food
and Homeless people

I don't know what it was about Seattle this past week, but the homeless people there loved me and I feel like giving to them was my fee to visit the city and see the sites each day. I swear I was approached by at least 3 homeless people each day asking for some type of help . (By approached I don't mean those sitting on the sidewalk with signs or shaking a cup at the corner of a busy intersection, i mean literally approached.) I would be walking with 10 other people, all of which were better dressed, nicer looking, and cooler than me, and some homeless dude would walk right up to me and only ask me for help. I swear they didn't even glance at anyone else I was with. They would walk across the street in front of oncoming traffic to ask me for money and food, they would grab my elbow from behind in the market and tell me how they just got out of prison and need help finding work or a cab to Tacoma. They would freaking block my path and only my path on the sidewalk to tell me I was a good kid and I needed to help them.

You might think to yourself, "well it's because you are a 6'6" giant sore thumb just asking for attention and beggars." I would normally agree, but I wasn't the only 6'6" sore thumb on the trip. Eric was usually there too and they didn't look at him twice and we all know he has more money than me. Then you might think, "well maybe you're just an idiot and fall into their traps easy." In this case you might be right, I guess I could have just shrugged them off or lied and said I didn't have any money.But does having compassion and being honest make me an idiot?

No it doesn't. I am no idiot.

I really have no idea why they only approached me on this trip, maybe I just look extra nice and giving? If that's it I can't complain one bit, but we all know that's a stretch. I guess I'm just a sucker for homeless peeps and I'm prob pretty easy to read.

And I'm ok with that.

Seattle was great, the company was hilarious, and the sights were beautiful.

Paying off the homeless was worth it.

Best Road trip of '09. By far.

Later now, or now later?

You remember the candy "Now and Later" right? They are initially really hard, so you suck on them now and then later you enjoy the chewy goodness, right?

Well today I saw something that made me realize what a messed up society we live in. I saw "Now and Later Soft." Initially I thought they just had a new package, but under close scrutiny and careful sampling I realized these weren't your regular Now and Later treats. They weren't hard at all like most Now and Laters, they were only chewy.

There was no now and later, it was only later, now.

I was dumbfounded.
I couldn't understand what I was experiencing.
Was I experiencing the now or the later?
Was I chewing the later now?
If so, is that how time travel works?

I concluded that I couldn't be enjoying the now since that was the hard portion, so I must have been enjoying the later. The only problem is how is there a later without a now or a time prior to the later?

It's crazy to think about, right?!

The funny thing is, this is exactly how our society works and one of its many problems. We try to enjoy the later, now. But it doesn't make sense, and it most certainly doesn't work. You can't enjoy tomorrow today.  Not only is it is not possible, but you will never be truly happy or content if you try to live in the future.

Today no one ever wants to work for anything, all we want is instant gratification. We want it all at once. I need a cheeseburger now. I need a new car now. I need a boat now. I need a house now. I need a hot tub now. I need a pet tiger now. I need all that my parents have after 40 years of hard work, now.

Now now now. Need need need. That is what we have been reduced to: a bunch of lazy people who aren't willing to work for anything and who aren't willing to wait for the later. In so doing we rob ourselves of the opportunity to live in and enjoy the now, the only time that actually exists. Instead we are trying to live in tomorrow and we forget the gift that is the present. This is one of the many reasons that we are unhappy, we are living in a time that does not exist called tomorrow.

You want to be happy? Eat a now and later. Live in the now and enjoy the later.

#1 Threat to America...Kittens

I sell Mexican food. Sometimes I smell like Mexican food.

I've been there (Cafe Sabor) for 3 years now, and I've come to learn some very interesting things. Most of all, how strange some people in this world are.

This past Friday night I was serving tables out on the patio, and I had one particular table that made me laugh at how ridiculous some people can be. It was two couples and their children just enjoying a night out to eat. They didn't seem to be very weird, just your average table that pretty much just sits there and eats without talking. So about half way thru their meal, one of the guys at the table grabs my attention. I go over and ask what I can do for them. He informs me in a disgusted tone that there is a cat out there. Mind you we were outside, so I said, "Ok, cool." But that wasn't what he wanted to hear, he wanted me to get rid of it or something. So I went over to where this vicious cat was, and I find a kitten, weighing a whopping 2 lbs and that's being generous on the fat side. As soon as I see the kitten, it flees. So I turn back to the guy, shrug my shoulders and say "I don't really know what I can do about that." Then he informed me that he was gonna stomp it if it even came close to him. So i shrugged again, made an unintelligible remark and walked off.

I thought for sure that would be the end of that, but the rest of the evening he continued to harass me and other servers working out on the patio about the kitten that was disrupting their dinner...freakin' weirdo.

Guess I should have realized that kittens are the number 1 threat to Americans.

Wonderful Inventions

Last night at about 2:30 a.m., after an exciting adventure floating cutler I witnessed a genius invention. Courtesy of Matthew.

It goes like this:

We went to Burger King to grab a little late night grub. We had to go through the drive-thru since it was closed inside. But we had a dilemma, our gracious driver, Natalie, didn't want to have her car smell like rodeo burgers and we wanted 3 of 'em.

What were we to do?

Luckily, Matthew thought quickly and rolled down the window. We were all expecting him to hold it out the window on the way home. But. To our amazement he rolled the window up on bag so that it pinched the top of the bag, allowing the burgers to hang freely (and safely) out the window.

This wonderful invention allowed everyone to be appeased creating a Pareto scenario. Natalie didn't have a car smelling of rodeo burger and Matthew was not required to put strain on his arm by holding it out the window the entire trip.

It was amazing. A borderline miracle.

X-Men for real?!

So I just discovered that my favorite childhood comic book is for reals. X-men is the story about good mutants who fight evil ones. I always thought it was a ridiculous idea, but a new study recently published shows that each and everyone one of us have anywhere from 150 - 200 mutations...

We are all mutants!
Now the key is to harness those mutations and all the energy behind them and become the mutants out mommas want us to become.
I can't wait to shoot lasers out of my eyes, fly, and stab stuff with the bones comin' out of my knuckles...oh what a glorious day!

Maximus Desimus Meridius

Just watched my favorite movie.

Gladiator.

It gets me everytime.

I think I'll name my first boy Maximus so he'll grow up to have strong and good morals. So that he will influence those around him for the positive. So he'll grow to be a real man, a good man.

Such a good movie.

The soundtrack is amazing too. Hans Zimmer is a genius.

She's a man eater

How do you feel about Hillary Clinton? Well if you feel about her the same way I do, you'll love to know how easy it is to get under her skin. Check out this video.