This last week I almost died.
I'm mostly kidding, but I'm also mostly not.
I had just about every symptom you can think of. Body aches, head aches, vomiting, diarreah, coughing, fatigue, fever, etc. I couldn't eat anything without throwing up, and I could barely move. It got so bad by tuesday that I had to move home to my mom's house so she could nurse me back to health. From sunday night to wednesday night I didn't eat a thing and in the process lost over 15 lbs. I was a little bit worried that I had the swine flu (thanks Jo), so I decided I should go to the doctor to get it all sorted out. I was there for over an hour, and I got tested for about 10 different viruses and diseases. But I left knowing only one thing. That I did not have swine flu...what a freaking shame, I always wanted to be part of an epidemic.
So 5 days after going to the doctor's office, they finally decided to get back to me today on all my tests and the nurse informed me that I tested negative on everything. On everything? What the freaking hell?! Apparently I was perfectly healthy last week. I guess I just need to stop being a baby and just man up...freaking doctor's office is a waste of time.
Side note:
Jo says he had swine flu, but we really have no way of knowing since he never got tested for it...just thought everyone should know the truth.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Wildcard!
Experiences this week:
1- While visiting my good friend Mckay at Mooch's, there was a crazy KFC employee buying some beers in front of me. I needed a Fastbreak candy bar, so I went up to buy it after he left and the next thing I know, I got the crazy man's blood on my hand. Logically, I freaked out and had a mental breakdown in my effort to clean it off. Now I'm pretty sure that I have the hiv...finally, I've been trying to get it for years.
2- I was standing in my friend's front yard, just minding my own dang business when I noticed something fall out of the sky. I looked down just in time to see a large piece of bird poop land on my shirt and quickly ooze down onto my shorts. I couldn't believe it, a bird pooped on me. The audacity! I looked around at my friends and said, "Are you shittin' me? I just got pooped on!" Everyone just laughed, so I had not choice but to look up and shake my fist at the heavens.
Lessons this week:
1- Gasoline stations smell like gasoline. Weird.
2- Bird poop is brown on the outside, white on the inside. Just like a Charelston Chew.
1- While visiting my good friend Mckay at Mooch's, there was a crazy KFC employee buying some beers in front of me. I needed a Fastbreak candy bar, so I went up to buy it after he left and the next thing I know, I got the crazy man's blood on my hand. Logically, I freaked out and had a mental breakdown in my effort to clean it off. Now I'm pretty sure that I have the hiv...finally, I've been trying to get it for years.
2- I was standing in my friend's front yard, just minding my own dang business when I noticed something fall out of the sky. I looked down just in time to see a large piece of bird poop land on my shirt and quickly ooze down onto my shorts. I couldn't believe it, a bird pooped on me. The audacity! I looked around at my friends and said, "Are you shittin' me? I just got pooped on!" Everyone just laughed, so I had not choice but to look up and shake my fist at the heavens.
Lessons this week:
1- Gasoline stations smell like gasoline. Weird.
2- Bird poop is brown on the outside, white on the inside. Just like a Charelston Chew.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Friends. They come, they go.
I had the opportunity to attend the wonderful spectacle known as a "demolition derby" a few weeks ago and it got me to thinking about an old friend of mine.
The Mullet.
My Mullet and I were one of the first on the scene up at USU and a large part in making me the man I am today. So I just wanted to spend a few minutes to remember all the good times that we had together and to pay tribute to my old friend.
We had fun riding my motorcycle together, pickin' up all the hot ladies, gettin' weird looks, being a bad A redneck, and pretty much doing everything cool you could ever do in life together.
This is what bedhead mullet looks like.
This is called the Mullet-tail, it's a rare sight.
I was way sad to cut it, but my mom conned me into doing it...
This is just prior to the chopping of the mullet.
I know, I know. It looks kind of girly in this shot.
I miss you Mullet.
The Mullet.
My Mullet and I were one of the first on the scene up at USU and a large part in making me the man I am today. So I just wanted to spend a few minutes to remember all the good times that we had together and to pay tribute to my old friend.
We had fun riding my motorcycle together, pickin' up all the hot ladies, gettin' weird looks, being a bad A redneck, and pretty much doing everything cool you could ever do in life together.
This is what bedhead mullet looks like.
This is called the Mullet-tail, it's a rare sight.
I was way sad to cut it, but my mom conned me into doing it...
This is just prior to the chopping of the mullet.
I know, I know. It looks kind of girly in this shot.
I miss you Mullet.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Lost this!
I used to be one of those people that thought the TV show Lost was ridiculous, but now I can honestly say that I'm addicted to it. So imagine my amazement when I heard that an Airliner was "lost" during turbulence over the Atlantic Ocean today...I think Lost is for reals!
Check out the article.
Check out the article.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
It walked on my pillow!
Sunday afternoons are great. After a good session of church, Jo, Tyler, and I went to my mom's house for some lunch and then lounged around at our sweet pad and just talked. The topics of conversation included the awesome girls in our lives, the gospel, and our missions. It was great to reminisce about my mission, it brought a tear to my eye and made me want to go back to Florida so bad! I miss all the crazy people in the south and I miss being a missionary. Life was so simple and so sweet as a missionary, it was a good time. Then Jo and I chilled outside the church listening to some sweet BYU choir music while Tyler met our new Bishop. I'm glad I've got such good friends, they are a great blessing in my life.
To cap off any good Sunday afternoon, you gotta have a nap. So I did. About an hour later I woke up to the sound of scrambling in the kitchen. At first I thought it was someone just getting home and being obnoxiously noisy about it. But the obnoxious noise didn't stop, so I went into the kitchen to investigate and to my utter astonishment, there was a bird perched on the handlebars of Jo's bike.
I couldn't believe it and had no idea what to do. I was the only one home and the poor guy kept trying to fly thru the window to escape. I knew I had to do something, but I wasn't sure just how to get him out of the house. So I looked around for anything that might help me and saw a broom. I instantly thought of the only example in my life of someone getting a bird out of a house. Buster.
I opened the door to the back yard, grabbed the broom, and began to wave the broom at the bird. It ran into the window a few more times, but after 3 or 4 waves of the ol' broom stick, the bird finally caught on and flew out the open doorway.
I was pretty proud of myself and glad I was there for the experience. Then I noticed the poop all over the place! Poor little Daxter Sr., Dexter for short, was so scared in my house that the poop was scared out of him and ended up all over the floor and chairs. I thought about leaving it there since I didn't want to break the Sabbath, but I didn't want to get bird flu or some crap like that, so I cleaned it up without throwing up. Not even a little bit in my mouth.
What a great Sunday, great friends and pooping Daxter Sr., I loved it. I'm just glad he didn't walk on my pillow.
The poor little guy was scared poopless!
To cap off any good Sunday afternoon, you gotta have a nap. So I did. About an hour later I woke up to the sound of scrambling in the kitchen. At first I thought it was someone just getting home and being obnoxiously noisy about it. But the obnoxious noise didn't stop, so I went into the kitchen to investigate and to my utter astonishment, there was a bird perched on the handlebars of Jo's bike.
I couldn't believe it and had no idea what to do. I was the only one home and the poor guy kept trying to fly thru the window to escape. I knew I had to do something, but I wasn't sure just how to get him out of the house. So I looked around for anything that might help me and saw a broom. I instantly thought of the only example in my life of someone getting a bird out of a house. Buster.
I opened the door to the back yard, grabbed the broom, and began to wave the broom at the bird. It ran into the window a few more times, but after 3 or 4 waves of the ol' broom stick, the bird finally caught on and flew out the open doorway.
I was pretty proud of myself and glad I was there for the experience. Then I noticed the poop all over the place! Poor little Daxter Sr., Dexter for short, was so scared in my house that the poop was scared out of him and ended up all over the floor and chairs. I thought about leaving it there since I didn't want to break the Sabbath, but I didn't want to get bird flu or some crap like that, so I cleaned it up without throwing up. Not even a little bit in my mouth.
What a great Sunday, great friends and pooping Daxter Sr., I loved it. I'm just glad he didn't walk on my pillow.
The poor little guy was scared poopless!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Coolest kid on the block
I love living close to home and being able to see my family whenever I feel like it, especially my nieces and nephews. My 5 year old nephew, John, is one of my best friends and we go crazy together, bug his mom, and play all sorts of games together, by all sorts I mean 4 sorts:
-Legos.
-Playing on the tramp.
-Watching 'Destroyed in Seconds' on the Discovery Channel.
-Anything that involves us fighting/wrestling.
But John isn't my best friend just because he's fun, the kid is a freaking genius.
Example 1-About 2 weeks ago, it was one of the rare spring days in Logan in which it didn't snow and the sun actually shined, we were sitting on the couch and John turns to me and says, "Did you know this is a crazy spring?" I asked him what he meant and he said, "Well one day it snows. Then it's sunny. Then it snows again. Then it's sunny again! Can you believe it? It's a crazy spring."
Example 2 -Last week I was eating dinner at my mom's house and coughed a little bit. John was sitting across from me and and had a worried look on his face. I asked him what was up and he asked me "Do you have the swine flu?" I laughed and said no. He looked relieved and said "Good, it comes from pigs and kills people."
I love my nephew, he is by far the coolest kid on the block. Check it.
-Legos.
-Playing on the tramp.
-Watching 'Destroyed in Seconds' on the Discovery Channel.
-Anything that involves us fighting/wrestling.
But John isn't my best friend just because he's fun, the kid is a freaking genius.
Example 1-About 2 weeks ago, it was one of the rare spring days in Logan in which it didn't snow and the sun actually shined, we were sitting on the couch and John turns to me and says, "Did you know this is a crazy spring?" I asked him what he meant and he said, "Well one day it snows. Then it's sunny. Then it snows again. Then it's sunny again! Can you believe it? It's a crazy spring."
Example 2 -Last week I was eating dinner at my mom's house and coughed a little bit. John was sitting across from me and and had a worried look on his face. I asked him what was up and he asked me "Do you have the swine flu?" I laughed and said no. He looked relieved and said "Good, it comes from pigs and kills people."
I love my nephew, he is by far the coolest kid on the block. Check it.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I Can Read
I LOVE to read. There, I said it.
I read for fun. I read to learn about history and current events. I read to grow spiritually. Reading improves our writing and speaking abilities. It makes us smarter. It stirs up our imagination and drives creativity. Books can teach us life lessons and morals. They allow us to learn from others' experiences.
This summer I plan on reading at least one book a month.
Here's the list of potential candidates:
-Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
-Ghost Wars by Steve Coll
-The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
-East of Eden by John Steinbeck
-John Adams by David McCullough
-A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
-The Invisible Heart by Russell Roberts
For anyone looking for a quick read, I recommend The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. The book gives us an interesting view into how Satan and his minions try to tempt us and lea
d us astray. The book is a collection of letters between two of Satan's minions describing their efforts and devices to tempt men. It's an inspiring book that gives us a new perspective on how to resist temptation, it opens up our understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ and of our purpose in life.
Read it. I promise you won't regret it.
I read for fun. I read to learn about history and current events. I read to grow spiritually. Reading improves our writing and speaking abilities. It makes us smarter. It stirs up our imagination and drives creativity. Books can teach us life lessons and morals. They allow us to learn from others' experiences.
This summer I plan on reading at least one book a month.
Here's the list of potential candidates:
-Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
-Ghost Wars by Steve Coll
-The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
-East of Eden by John Steinbeck
-John Adams by David McCullough
-A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
-The Invisible Heart by Russell Roberts
For anyone looking for a quick read, I recommend The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. The book gives us an interesting view into how Satan and his minions try to tempt us and lea
d us astray. The book is a collection of letters between two of Satan's minions describing their efforts and devices to tempt men. It's an inspiring book that gives us a new perspective on how to resist temptation, it opens up our understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ and of our purpose in life.Read it. I promise you won't regret it.
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