Sunday, September 13, 2009

#1 Threat to America...Kittens

I sell Mexican food. Sometimes I smell like Mexican food.

I've been there (Cafe Sabor) for 3 years now, and I've come to learn some very interesting things. Most of all, how strange some people in this world are.

This past Friday night I was serving tables out on the patio, and I had one particular table that made me laugh at how ridiculous some people can be. It was two couples and their children just enjoying a night out to eat. They didn't seem to be very weird, just your average table that pretty much just sits there and eats without talking. So about half way thru their meal, one of the guys at the table grabs my attention. I go over and ask what I can do for them. He informs me in a disgusted tone that there is a cat out there. Mind you we were outside, so I said, "Ok, cool." But that wasn't what he wanted to hear, he wanted me to get rid of it or something. So I went over to where this vicious cat was, and I find a kitten, weighing a whopping 2 lbs and that's being generous on the fat side. As soon as I see the kitten, it flees. So I turn back to the guy, shrug my shoulders and say "I don't really know what I can do about that." Then he informed me that he was gonna stomp it if it even came close to him. So i shrugged again, made an unintelligible remark and walked off.

I thought for sure that would be the end of that, but the rest of the evening he continued to harass me and other servers working out on the patio about the kitten that was disrupting their dinner...freakin' weirdo.

Guess I should have realized that kittens are the number 1 threat to Americans.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wonderful Inventions

Last night at about 2:30 a.m., after an exciting adventure floating cutler I witnessed a genius invention. Courtesy of Matthew.

It goes like this:

We went to Burger King to grab a little late night grub. We had to go through the drive-thru since it was closed inside. But we had a dilemma, our gracious driver, Natalie, didn't want to have her car smell like rodeo burgers and we wanted 3 of 'em.

What were we to do?

Luckily, Matthew thought quickly and rolled down the window. We were all expecting him to hold it out the window on the way home. But. To our amazement he rolled the window up on bag so that it pinched the top of the bag, allowing the burgers to hang freely (and safely) out the window.

This wonderful invention allowed everyone to be appeased creating a Pareto scenario. Natalie didn't have a car smelling of rodeo burger and Matthew was not required to put strain on his arm by holding it out the window the entire trip.

It was amazing. A borderline miracle.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

X-Men for real?!

So I just discovered that my favorite childhood comic book is for reals. X-men is the story about good mutants who fight evil ones. I always thought it was a ridiculous idea, but a new study recently published shows that each and everyone one of us have anywhere from 150 - 200 mutations...

We are all mutants!
Now the key is to harness those mutations and all the energy behind them and become the mutants out mommas want us to become.
I can't wait to shoot lasers out of my eyes, fly, and stab stuff with the bones comin' out of my knuckles...oh what a glorious day!