Friday, June 24, 2011

Stay Awkward San Diego

This past week I gave a talk in church on gratitude, so naturally I've been noticing a lot of things in my life that I am grateful for. Like, a wearing a brand new pair of socks, the smell of bacon all the time, otterpops in the summer, just barely making a green light, mullets on children or overweight women or anyone, or finding money in a pocket or drawer. But I also realized just how grateful I am for all the awkward people around the world, more especially, I'm grateful for the awkward people I have the joy of crossing paths with. They make my life so enjoyable, give me something to laugh about and remind me how grateful I am to be me.

Here are just a few experiences over the past couple of weeks.

New Roommate: I met the new addition to our apartment on saturday as I was watching Modern Family. At first sight I knew he was a little  awkward (I know it sounds bad, like I judge, but you can just tell...) and my first impression did not disappoint. I heard him head to the bathroom and before he had come out I had literally finished two episodes of Modern Family. When he finally came out this is what happened:
New Roommate: "So, you guys have been living here for awhile, right?"
Me: "Ya, why?"
NR: "You wouldn't happen to have a plunger around would you?"
Me: "I don't think so...did you clog the toilet?"
NR: "Ha ha, ya, I sort of have a knack for it. At my house we had three bathrooms and I bought a plunger for each."
Me: "Nice dude."
He then proceeded to rip off about half a roll of paper towels and clean up the mess on the floor. Then he went to Safeway to buy a was fantastic!

Couple in Church: There is this couple at church that express way too much affection. The guy seems pretty normal, but the girl is out of control. I can't quite describe it, but she is just crazy and all over he boyfriend at church. I can understand holding hands, or even minor cuddling at church, and I can even understand the occasional peck on the check, but these two are almost making out at church at times. But she is always kissing him and making him kiss her and she is constantly draped over, hanging on, or smothering him....and it's not like they sit in the foyer or in the back of the chapel, instead they sit right in the middle so everyone gets to experience just how much sexual tension they have. It is so awkwardly awesome.

Little Asian at the Club: A couple of weekends back I went to the club/pub with my friends and we spent the whole night dancing. It was surprisingly a lot of fun, but what made it so awesome was watching the awkwardness happen over and over again. At the club there was an Asian guy dancing nearby, he was probably 5'3" and dancing as awkwardly as possible. And I know awkward dancing, being a terrible dancer myself. If you can shuffle your feet while bouncing a little bit and let your arms swing then you can not only dance just like this guy, but imagine him doing so the entire time. But that alone wasn't what made it so awkward and great. It was enhanced by how hard he tried to dance with girls almost a half foot taller than him. He never had any success, he would just dance on the outside of a group of girls as they tried to ignore him. The little guy was relentless and it was awesome to watch.

Side Note: That night my truck was about 5' from a murder scene and we had to wait about an hour for them to deal with the scene before they let us in to take my truck back.
You can't really see from this picture, but there are about 6 cop cars, 2 fire trucks and an ambulance down there and police tape blocking off the entire block...also note, cops don't like drunk people.

Thank you awkward people. You keep life interesting and make me laugh so keep up the good work!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Funny People

I've heard quite a few funny things over the past few weeks and I decided that I have some pretty funny friends and family.

For example, two weeks ago I was playing Halo with Joe and his buddies when one of them was asked if he was going to see the Green Lantern he responded with, "Why would I want to see a movie about a guy that gets his powers from camping gear?" And Joe responded by saying, "What if he had like a crap ton of propane though?"

Also a person who shall remain nameless recently said, "you know, sometimes I wish I were a bear so I could crap anywhere I wanted and no one could do a dang thing about it."
Then this past weekend I hung out with my nephews and we went to an amusement park in Gilroy. The kids were hilarious and were always making funny comments during the trip. The rides weren't the best, but the scenery was amazing and for only $10 I can't complain one bit.

Typical little punks right there.

I think I need to keep a journal of all the funny things I hear, cause they are plentiful. So to all you funny people out there. Thank you. You enrich my life and I hope that your humor and wit will continue to bless those around you.