Sunday, October 25, 2009

My mom says it's impolite...

If someone asked me what my best talent was, you know what I would say?

Or eructating.

Ask anyone who knows anything about me and they'll admit I'm pretty good at it. Not only are they loud, but they last a long time and they smell delectable. The reason I mention this is not to tute my own horn, but because of an experience I had in the Hub the other day.

So anyone that has visited the hub at USU knows that it employs people with disabilities to pick up the trash and clean the tables. So one day, we were having Hub Club by just eating and enjoying our time with friends. So in mid conversation I had to belch pretty bad so I let it loose. At that moment, 2 disabled employees were cleaning the garbage near us and when they heard me belch they both started laughing. Those 2 guys were smiling from ear to ear, they thought my belch was one of the funniest things they had heard. One of them even told me that my belch sounded just like an elk.

An elk!
What an honor.

We all had a good laugh about it and continued on with Hub Club. A few minutes later the 2 guys walked by and both of them were watching me, just waiting for me to belch again, but I didn't have one and I could tell they were disappointed. So I made sure that I had one ready the next time they walked by and I let another loud belch go. They started laughing again and we followed with some loud laughter ourselves. It was great. So much joy out of something so simple.

See mom, belches are good for something.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Homeless in Seattle

There are a few constants in every big city:

Dark alleys
Strip clubs
Good food
and Homeless people

I don't know what it was about Seattle this past week, but the homeless people there loved me and I feel like giving to them was my fee to visit the city and see the sites each day. I swear I was approached by at least 3 homeless people each day asking for some type of help . (By approached I don't mean those sitting on the sidewalk with signs or shaking a cup at the corner of a busy intersection, i mean literally approached.) I would be walking with 10 other people, all of which were better dressed, nicer looking, and cooler than me, and some homeless dude would walk right up to me and only ask me for help. I swear they didn't even glance at anyone else I was with. They would walk across the street in front of oncoming traffic to ask me for money and food, they would grab my elbow from behind in the market and tell me how they just got out of prison and need help finding work or a cab to Tacoma. They would freaking block my path and only my path on the sidewalk to tell me I was a good kid and I needed to help them.

You might think to yourself, "well it's because you are a 6'6" giant sore thumb just asking for attention and beggars." I would normally agree, but I wasn't the only 6'6" sore thumb on the trip. Eric was usually there too and they didn't look at him twice and we all know he has more money than me. Then you might think, "well maybe you're just an idiot and fall into their traps easy." In this case you might be right, I guess I could have just shrugged them off or lied and said I didn't have any money.But does having compassion and being honest make me an idiot?

No it doesn't. I am no idiot.

I really have no idea why they only approached me on this trip, maybe I just look extra nice and giving? If that's it I can't complain one bit, but we all know that's a stretch. I guess I'm just a sucker for homeless peeps and I'm prob pretty easy to read.

And I'm ok with that.

Seattle was great, the company was hilarious, and the sights were beautiful.

Paying off the homeless was worth it.

Best Road trip of '09. By far.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Later now, or now later?

You remember the candy "Now and Later" right? They are initially really hard, so you suck on them now and then later you enjoy the chewy goodness, right?

Well today I saw something that made me realize what a messed up society we live in. I saw "Now and Later Soft." Initially I thought they just had a new package, but under close scrutiny and careful sampling I realized these weren't your regular Now and Later treats. They weren't hard at all like most Now and Laters, they were only chewy.

There was no now and later, it was only later, now.

I was dumbfounded.
I couldn't understand what I was experiencing.
Was I experiencing the now or the later?
Was I chewing the later now?
If so, is that how time travel works?

I concluded that I couldn't be enjoying the now since that was the hard portion, so I must have been enjoying the later. The only problem is how is there a later without a now or a time prior to the later?

It's crazy to think about, right?!

The funny thing is, this is exactly how our society works and one of its many problems. We try to enjoy the later, now. But it doesn't make sense, and it most certainly doesn't work. You can't enjoy tomorrow today.  Not only is it is not possible, but you will never be truly happy or content if you try to live in the future.

Today no one ever wants to work for anything, all we want is instant gratification. We want it all at once. I need a cheeseburger now. I need a new car now. I need a boat now. I need a house now. I need a hot tub now. I need a pet tiger now. I need all that my parents have after 40 years of hard work, now.

Now now now. Need need need. That is what we have been reduced to: a bunch of lazy people who aren't willing to work for anything and who aren't willing to wait for the later. In so doing we rob ourselves of the opportunity to live in and enjoy the now, the only time that actually exists. Instead we are trying to live in tomorrow and we forget the gift that is the present. This is one of the many reasons that we are unhappy, we are living in a time that does not exist called tomorrow.

You want to be happy? Eat a now and later. Live in the now and enjoy the later.