Monday, June 22, 2009

Death is just another journey.

This last week I almost died.
I'm mostly kidding, but I'm also mostly not.

I had just about every symptom you can think of. Body aches, head aches, vomiting, diarreah, coughing, fatigue, fever, etc. I couldn't eat anything without throwing up, and I could barely move. It got so bad by tuesday that I had to move home to my mom's house so she could nurse me back to health. From sunday night to wednesday night I didn't eat a thing and in the process lost over 15 lbs. I was a little bit worried that I had the swine flu (thanks Jo), so I decided I should go to the doctor to get it all sorted out. I was there for over an hour, and I got tested for about 10 different viruses and diseases. But I left knowing only one thing. That I did not have swine flu...what a freaking shame, I always wanted to be part of an epidemic.

So 5 days after going to the doctor's office, they finally decided to get back to me today on all my tests and the nurse informed me that I tested negative on everything. On everything? What the freaking hell?! Apparently I was perfectly healthy last week. I guess I just need to stop being a baby and just man up...freaking doctor's office is a waste of time.

Side note:
Jo says he had swine flu, but we really have no way of knowing since he never got tested for it...just thought everyone should know the truth.

Sunday, June 7, 2009


Experiences this week:

1- While visiting my good friend Mckay at Mooch's, there was a crazy KFC employee buying some beers in front of me. I needed a Fastbreak candy bar, so I went up to buy it after he left and the next thing I know, I got the crazy man's blood on my hand. Logically, I freaked out and had a mental breakdown in my effort to clean it off. Now I'm pretty sure that I have the hiv...finally, I've been trying to get it for years.

2- I was standing in my friend's front yard, just minding my own dang business when I noticed something fall out of the sky. I looked down just in time to see a large piece of bird poop land on my shirt and quickly ooze down onto my shorts. I couldn't believe it, a bird pooped on me. The audacity! I looked around at my friends and said, "Are you shittin' me? I just got pooped on!" Everyone just laughed, so I had not choice but to look up and shake my fist at the heavens.

Lessons this week:

1- Gasoline stations smell like gasoline. Weird.

2- Bird poop is brown on the outside, white on the inside. Just like a Charelston Chew.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Friends. They come, they go.

I had the opportunity to attend the wonderful spectacle known as a "demolition derby" a few weeks ago and it got me to thinking about an old friend of mine.

The Mullet.

My Mullet and I were one of the first on the scene up at USU and a large part in making me the man I am today. So I just wanted to spend a few minutes to remember all the good times that we had together and to pay tribute to my old friend.

We had fun riding my motorcycle together, pickin' up all the hot ladies, gettin' weird looks, being a bad A redneck, and pretty much doing everything cool you could ever do in life together.

This is what bedhead mullet looks like.This is called the Mullet-tail, it's a rare sight.

I was way sad to cut it, but my mom conned me into doing it...

This is just prior to the chopping of the mullet.

I know, I know. It looks kind of girly in this shot.

I miss you Mullet.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Lost this!

I used to be one of those people that thought the TV show Lost was ridiculous, but now I can honestly say that I'm addicted to it. So imagine my amazement when I heard that an Airliner was "lost" during turbulence over the Atlantic Ocean today...I think Lost is for reals!

Check out the article.